Late nights driving me crazy now. It has been a month i ve joined this new agency and since then i guess twice a week i m working till 4 am. That's sad :( Even he is so busy with work.

Since i joined swimming, not keeping well. Surviving throat infection and viral. May this end soon and go back to water and swim like a mermaid. hehehee

No more missing .................

I am surprised and happy with the new development. He got the job in the same city where i am working. Now we are living together and will make our "nest" a better place to live. I am prepared for the problems we will face in coming days, it will not bother me as i m living my dream and seeing dream taking shape.

Cooking for him and seeing the happiness on his face while he finishes and relishes the cooked meal. I love to see his smiling face in the morning. I love to sleep in his arms, and now i don't have to count down the days for it. I love when i pick and drop him to his office. I love wen we discuss our day over the cup of tea. I love each moment with him......... After all love is one thing which makes our world better ........ and our's is heaven !

Thanks to almighty !

Was this you ?? i wonder now

always complaining, always whining
whether the sun is up or the moon is shining.
why write thnk u, why not write luv u
one is stumped how to please u.

IPL 3

What is the event that marks the ascendancy of India on the world stage? Some would say our nuclear tests, but since I think the bat is mightier than the bomb, I would say it is the I.P.L. Now, cricket is the one sport where we do not suck. Also it does not hurt to be a financial powerhouse due a large section of our population hung–up on the game. What better way to emboss these credentials than hold a multi-million dollar league which invites the best players of the world to compete on the domestic turf in T-20 format.

The team owners are all wealthy Indians who can afford to throw crores of rupees out of their kitty and not feel the pinch. They knew that their investment would not go in vain as cricket is and will be the heroin of the masses. This concept married bollywood with cricket and a joyful honeymoon was marked by the successful opening of IPL 3. In a study, it was found that I.P.L was the most expensive league after N.B.A and .A league not even 5 yrs old, still in its infancy and a hotshot moneymaker? This could only happen in India, where the one addiction permissible is cricket.

At every match, you can see a top businessman, actor, politician, minister and of course the hordes which make the format the success that it is. This illustrates the mass appeal of the I.P.L and the fact that it exerts a considerable pull over the imaginations of a sizable chunk of the population.

For the I.P.L, I am of two minds. Sometimes, I think to myself that it’s giving good exposure to sports in India. When I am a bit more cynical, I tend to think that it’s an obnoxious display of wealth, an inevitable result of globalization, which has pumped money into our economy and made fortunes.

When I am in the first state of mind, I think I.P.L is a good thing for a cricket crazy nation like India. It’s a good clean form of entertainment unlike other vulgar programmes on T.V. It encourages budding cricketers to pursue their passions seriously. It provides upcoming cricketers with a significant platform other than the national team, Ranji trophy etc. The big cricketers of India also become adept at the format thanks to such an exposure. (At-least in theory). Many people also get employment such as caterers at the venue, the people who designed the team jerseys, the commentators, the umpires and the security personnel who are assigned to especially guard the teams etc.

On the dark side, is it really prudent for a third-world country like India, where al-least 500 million live acute poverty, to put money in such a glitzy mirage. Since resources are limited (the basic teaching of economics) what if all this money had been diverted to encompass more poor people in Nandan Nilekani’s I-card scheme, or upgrade our C.R.P.F forces to combat internal threats, or ensure a decent school with decent teachers in every village of India or perhaps build quality universities and colleges all over India. I am just making random guesses but the possibilities of putting all this money to better use are endless, really!!!’

Another intriguing fact is that before the I.P.L started, India was the T-20 champion of the world. After I.P.L-2, India could not even reach the semifinal. I guess this is because I.P.L causes fatigue among the Indian players who constitute a majority in the league. (They are the human after all)

Also, other sports requiring promotion such as volleyball, Hockey etc. may get sidelined thanks to I.P.L. The I.P.L could end up aggravating the public’s ‘chalta-hai’ attitude towards the development of other sports since all their (public’s) attention is consumed by cricket.

For the I.P.L lovers I wish to end by saying this-

“Lusty sixes,

Beautiful cheerleaders,

Celebrities around,

Adrenaline pumping action on the ground,

Is this heaven?

No, it’s the I.P.L!!!!”

And this is for the IP.L haters-

“Victimizing of bowlers,

Money wasted on frivolity,

Crass commercialization,

Murder of tradition,

Cricket’s domination,

Is this hell?

No it’s the I.P.L!!!!”

Why some people are too good in killing ones excitement? I made one promise to myself today that i will not ask for things which i know will not be granted. When the moments fades, the importance of things also fades away.

Euthanasia is better anyday for me

I’m scared of needles and have missed most of my vaccinations at school because I’ve been too scared to go through with them. Your doctor will think you are stupid for being scared of shots. Many people are terrified of needles, and some even faint when given a shot. And i m not too proud to say that i belong to the group who will faint even at the sight of the needle. Today i was shitting bricks when doctor took that long wire, which was supposed to be forced thru my throat. I finally gave up to the cruel doctor temptations. 40 mins were most painful and agonizing. I hated each and everyone who i could think of that time. I tried hard to divert my mind, but everytime the tube was twisted inside me, my mind was not able to think anything else other than kicking that doctor's balls so hard so that he cud relate with my pain.

Finally they got bored of the game and treasure hunt inside my body. I got up and was least interested to know about the findings,i just wanted to leave and go and rest at home. I am so sure that if anytime later in life, i will be needing life support system, where i will be poked with needles everyday " i will choose euthanasia".

A month old ...

Today i completed one month of being a non smoker. It all started with one promise to him and a promise to myself of living a healthy life. I am one month old as a non smoker.

She opened her eyes to her new world

Little M, daughter opened her eyes today. I must admit she got one of the most amaging and beautiful eyes, almond shape. Soon she will start walking and will follow me like M piggies follow me... It's so amazing to see them growing up.

Hold me now .......

Post what all happened in the evening... i can only think of this song. I remember when me and sim's got drunk, i played this song in a loop for some 20 times...... It is surprising that someday i ll relate with this one so well and it will an apt one for the situation....

Hold Me Now"

I have a picture,
Pinned to my wall.
An image of you and of me and we're laughing and loving it all.
But look at our life now.
We're tattered and torn.
We fuss and we fight and lay in the tears we cry until dawn.

[CHORUS]
Hold me now, warm my heart.
Stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)

You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind.
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find.
Perhaps I should leave here, yeah yeah go far away.
But you know there's no where I'd rather be than with you here today.


You ask if I love you, well what can I say?
You know I do and if this is just one of those games that we play.
So I'll sing you a new song.
Please don't cry anymore.
ANd then I'll ask you forgiveness though I don't really know what I'm asking it for.

Looking for it ....... Happiness !

I do not know how many of us get this feeling that everything we have done or so called “accomplished” in life is a big fat lie~! At least I suffer from this pretty regularly. It really does not matter, how much cash you are making or which big car you are driving or which swanky corporate you work with. The real stunner of a question is “are you happy”? Not the look-in-the-mirror-after-an-appointment-of-oh-so-expensive-hair-dresser happy but the kind of happiness you once might have experienced when you got an award in third standard for being the brightest kid in the class, for the very first time in your life. (For those like me who didn’t get any…mere dreaming about it would be enough to bring a huge grin.)

As I sit in my so called “cool-very-corporatish” office, I look at the world around me… and only view I get is the top the heads (some bald patches, some fuzzy streaks) busily stooped over their computer screens typing away furiously. I wonder what do they type? No greetings from the colleagues, (don’t even talk about the cheers…) only noise I can hear is from a very complicated James Bond’s vending machine. Damn thing is as complicated as Bond’s gadgets and watches!

People around are carrying buckets of attitude and the sense of being damn busy (as if world peace depends on their fragile shoulders.) To make it worse one has to constantly push and monitor other guy’s work, progress... like I have just adopted an autistic dog from a state owned, rural based run down animal shelter! And not just one autistic dog like that many other dogs and cats and donkeys and whatever they are called... I do not wish to waste my (non) finite source of my thinking energy, the bottom line is it all seem pretty stupid to me. It is feeling of emptiness of being wasted. Try as I can, am not able to get rid of this feeling.

It is thanks to this feeling of hollowness, which has made me think about me, myself, what am I like as a person…my personality my ambitions, the one thing (many things) that is truly important to me. If this corporate fever wouldn’t have gripped me I would be still an executive in this huge agency, not bothered about anything in life…just like a lazy cat. Would be dreaming of writing and creating my own blog and wishing to shift to the client side (ad agency speak)!

So answer my question of being happy… I would say, as of now NO. I am the most miserable person imaginable in your own personal hell… but hey it’s ok… at least now I know what is my forte, my strengths and my weakness, what NOT to do/try even if great promises of wealth and gold awaits and how to work with my limitations and profit from it.

Happiness is present all over the universe. It all depends on how you go about pursuing it. I think more importantly where you go about pursuing it- inwards or outwards. So they say whatever happens, happens for good, yes being rotten for time being will have certain benefits in the future.

It's all about who i am ???

As I am staring at my newborn blog, I was wondering what this blog will be about.. and then I thought it need not be specific.. (if I have to write about marketing and advertising.. since its what my profession is... then what will Philip Kotlers of the world will do...!! idon't want them to envy me!)

This blog is a collection of my thoughts, musings, likings, dis-likings, poetry, fiction, literature.. (very much like Paulo Coelho's "like a flowing river.." only difference is that he can afford to get his "collection of thoughts" published.. )

Someone asked me recently that why i am not into Creative writing and what I am doing as a servicing person (old school version of Account management, in advertising).. somehow this question struck home. I guess this is another reason which pushed me to start writing... maybe.. we'll figure it out.. won't we ?

Some day we will know - switch foot

Ninety miles outside Chicago

Can't stop driving, I don't know why

So many questions, I need an answer

Two years later you're still on my mind

Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?

Who holds the stars up in the sky?

Is true love just once in a lifetime?

Did the captain of the Titanic cry?

Someday We'll Know

If love can move a mountain

Someday We'll Know

Why the sky is blue

Someday We'll Know

Why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?

Or what the wind says when she cries?

I'm speeding by the place that I met you

For the ninety-seventh time... tonight

Someday We'll Know

If love can move a mountain

Someday We'll Know

Why the sky is blue

Someday We'll Know

Why I wasn't meant for you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Someday We'll Know

Why Samson loved Delilah

One Day I'll go

Dancin on the moon

Someday You'll Know

That I was the one for you

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow

i watch the stars crash into the sea

If I could ask God just one question...

Why aren't you here with me?...tonight

Someday We'll Know

If love can move a mountain

Someday We'll Know

Why the sky is blue

Someday We'll Know

Why I wasn't meant for you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Someday We'll Know

Why Samson loved Delilah

One Day I'll go

Dancin on the moon

Someday You'll Know

That I was the one for you

it was white all over

Wat i could have done to save him, why his mom was so calm even wen her son died? Was she morning by sitting next to his corpse? Don't look at me little m, i don't wanna look at you. I know what you want to ask me? I promise you the moaning mother where ever he is right now, is much comfortable. I know his sister is missing and looking for the tiny body for warmth inside the pen. It was so not me and i surprise my self most of the times when i go numb while doing odd jobs. When little M was under the knife my feelings were so similar to what i had this morning. Sudden rush of feelings and emotions drains out of your system. Sitting next to the puppy pen, i am already missing that little soul.

Today some what i can relate to parents who loose their children. My hand raised baby is gone and trust me i can still feel his fur and soft burps on my hand.

rest in peace puppy, and tell me what i should tell your mother who is looking at me since your are gone. Is she blaming me, is she waiting for me to put you back to the puppy pen. Why u never called out for help, like you and sister cried out for the first time wen you stepped into this world. I promise you my kid, that your sister will go to the best of hands else will remain with us in this house............. i dun want another little m story to be repeated.

cat nap

It's a handful and time consuming job to hand raise 11 pups. One starts crying others also joins the chorus. Finally fed all of them and time for me to take a cat nap

today's tarot card reading............

Seven of Swords
Time to consult with others. You are a truthful person, but others do not always want to hear the truth. Honor and willingness to stay and face the music. You will not run from a situation just because it is uncomfortable. Someone needs to know that you are there for them. Someone has the wrong idea about you. You need to set things right.

Brainstorming....

Brainstorming, a term commonly used in any ad agency, is defined as "shared problem solving" in which all members of a group spontaneously contribute idea, trying to solve a problem by rapidly generating a variety of possible solutions.

Its really easy because the most important point about Brainstorming is that there is no pressure to be brilliant, which makes it more like a general meeting of people who all claim to be working for the same agency but have never met. Once every body's settled in, important topics are discussed : traffic snarls, bad chairs, worse salaries and worst canteen food.

The ideal duration of a brainstorming is till pizza is demolished. The venue are chosen according to the people for them and the issue at hand.

toilet humor ..

This morning i was tuned into local FM station. I hated the introduction script for song number 2 on top 10 list.

" mummy karli dhoo do "

apka gana number do (2).

" uff teri ada.. from kartick calling kartick "

Right choice ?

Some "Test Your Advertising Aptitude"

Q. If you come to know of the ills of smoking, you would :

a. Quit smoking

b. Try and get your frenz to quit smoking

c. Smoke a cigarette: write an anti smoking ad in the hope of winning an award

Q. You have an important meeting. You would :

a. Pull out your best suit

b. Wear your best shirt and polish your shoes

c.Change your underwear

Q. Early morning to you is :

a. 5 am; you practice yoga

b. 6:30 am; you jog

c. Noon

Q. Late night to you is:

a. Past midnight

b. If you miss the last bus home

c. When the beer is over

Q. Most important aspect of your job?

a. Achieve targets

b. Making profits

c. Fighting to keep you chair ( not in other sense)

If you ve got all the C's. WELCOME TO ADVERTISING ! now, get lost

Free + lancer + money = Freelancer

Free lancers are a special breed in the business. They are the talented lot who make more money than most employees, annual income, in a single assignment.

Being a freelancer has its advantages:

1. You wake up at a decent hour, 12 pm.
2. You don’t need to travel during peak hours everyday
3. Privacy. When you need to scratch, you don’t have to settle for a hasty grope behind the copying machine, you can sit back, stretch your legs and go wild with a fork
4. You are your own boss
5. You are also the courier boy
6. Oh sorry, this was the list of advantages
7. Good money
8. But it never comes in time
9. Drat! Advantages only. Sorry.
10. You can work in informal clothes – such as you jockeys

In spite of going to the same school, the freelancer makes probably a zillion times more money than his batch mate, the “ad man”….

One of those days -

Day was going as usual, monday's at work are little hectic. I had planned my evening in advance, that i will come back at 5 and paint puppy pen. Around 12 pm my boss drops the bomb " bebe you will ve to go for this meeting @ greater noida". I hated that moment, felt like someone crushed my plans under her fake hugo boss sandals. I was about to leave for the meeting, my management trainee gives a panic call. She had bumped car into a parked car. So me and other two people left for the crime scene. Both the cars had major dents all over, the accused car ( MT) bonnet was up and fan belt was broken. The sufferer's car door was damaged and window glass was broken. After much haggling we settled for 5k. I so wanted to slap the stupid ass (MT). Why the fck she was driving someone else's car when its only 3 days of her driving classes, that too without the licence.

Me and my counter part from mumbai office left for meeting at 3 and reached client's office around 5. This place i really dun like esp the client, but some how i maintained my interest in the meeting, i so wanna scream " DUH! i know these details, talk something new". It's been 2 weeks and 2 days that i am not smoking at all, i am going thru major withdrawal symptoms. My counterpart was smoking like a chimney, i felt like stubbing the butt into his butts. I had craving for smoking and since then my mood swings started. P's day was also not a gr8 one. I came back home after little shopping. Kids foods and mom's havan stuff. Electricity was not there, and kids have peed and pooped all over. I cleaned it and mom was trying to help. She cleaned the room with me and while doing it i saw a cigarette butt again lying under the bed. My cravings were much stronger now. And little good mood i had after seeing kids, turned into a bad mood.

Watching 10 thousand BC on HBO, may be this will pep my mood.

WOLF AAAAOOOoooo!

My new pet is a virtual pet " WOLF ". Loved it :)

He follows my cursor and howls as well... and best part is that i dun have to feed him.

Puppy pen arrival

M&M are not in good terms with each other for last one month. Reason is so obvious and clear, both of them wants the best place for nesting. Big M winning the altercations always since she had learnt the art of self defense. She was docile and more patient with little M. Since, they have come back from boarding, Big M learnt it from other dogs the art of protecting food and invasion in privacy. She is not allowing little M to come an inch close to her food and her bedding. More the reason, both are "gonna be mom's". Little M makes the most adorable puppy face if you dun listen to her demands or scold her. Whelping stage is coming near with each day passing by. So i had to plan something to control these two mutts from fighting over place and nesting area.

It was decided post discussions with mom and P, that each of the mutts will get her own place to nest. So i ordered for puppy pen for Big M and we already had a crate for little M. We bought this crate for little M so that she feels safe as puppy, when she had arrived at our home. But later Big M used it as her shelter to get rid of little M, and her unreasonable demands regarding play time. She was a little monster as a pup. Big M was hurt and injured so many times.

So finally, Big M's puppy pen arrived this evening, moment it was set up at the designated place, Big M checked it from all sides. She is still sleeping inside it. Little M got little hassled, coz the walls are too tall for her to get in and get out ( there is a door as well, but she is born to be a monkey).

While doin the research on net, i got to know all shapes and sizes of puppy pen. But all had one fault. So i made my own design. The fault was the base of the puppy pen. Most of the pen's example given on net have base ply. So it is next to impossible to clean, wen puppy will soil it. Any one who is a dog owner knows that having puppies around is a messy job and needs constant cleaning.

So my design is 4x4 feet and 16 inches (wall). One small gate for puppies to get in and get out.

No base is given, so that it can be cleaned on regular intervals. One inch legs on all four sides so that water will not spoil the ply. Bigger task will be done tomorrow. I am planning to paint it. The other way of making it attractive is to put colorful papers. I ve some wrapping papers with me at office. Will get them tomorrow and try to use some creativity.

Now all i waiting for puppies to arrive soon. P and I waited for it for 2 years.

From 7 am to 11 am....

It's a different feeling today, i got up with a feeling of owning something. Finally after some 6 hours of contemplating with templates and settings, i managed a decent looking blog. I changed the blog title some 7 times. i dun wanna run through all the names i selected. Finally, P made some necessary changes in my blog, and will make more later. I am learning this new "thingy", and will take some more time. Got up at 7 am fed the kids and then while reading newspaper i dozed off. P called, my "phantasmagoric moment". His calls really make my day, seriously.

Will be goin to pick up my cousin and her kids in sometime, first i will have to clean the whole house. The Domestic help is still not back from Nepal. I am so used to his services now. i hate cleaning the house and making morning tea. But soon things will be more hectic, post arrival of new puppies.

New look

After hours of hit and trial, i some what managed to give some shape to my blog's layout. I really don't know how it is looking? So much is there to learn and i am little slow when it comes to Internet self education.

" I dunno why i m unable to log into my blog. I first have to check my profile, then go to home and then i am able to see the dash board. It is not similar in P's blog, i remember it very clearly".

Will bore P with my questions tomorrow. Time to hit bed now, M&M will be dancing at 6 am sharp.

I hate it the most .................................

1. Wen i m ignored by you the whole day
2. Wen Little M pees inside my room
3. Wen my boss acts too smart with me
4. Wen Mom talks about my past
5. Wen you dun respond to my calls (sometimes)
6. Wen Big M, pesters me to take her for a walk 12 in the night
7. Wen i dun get to know, what i want to know from you
8. Wen i see myself failing in keepin the promises i made
9. Wen you make sarcastic remarks for no reason
10.Wen i m left with less money in my account
11. Wen i cannot buy what i really want to buy
12. Wen i dun get to see you or hear from you
13. Wen you go away from me for 6 months
14. Wen i m told about my "cousin's" profile updates
15. Wen i am told i m black by others ( esp my roomie). So want to smash his face
16. Wen people tell me that i am so "SUGGESTIVE" & "obvious"
17. Wen my client treats me like i dun exist for good
18. Wen i've to see my "cousins" living "better" life than mine
19. Wen u and i fight and stop talking
20. LAST YEAR ..those 5 days i hate most.......

Finally i m starting to write

Finally this here, is my permanent space to write. Had made two blogs earlier but both were not so anonymous. This is one i think is and i guess so does P. It is much better name to start with. Why am i here ? Well i was following so many blogs and off course P's blog ( his blog only actually), that i felt may be i can also adapt myself into this virtual world of blogging. This blog will be about me, P and our two little monsters. But what will i write here, most of the things i already share with him. The ones i dun tell him, are too trivial to be mentioned. P says that this can be my record wen he will write his autobiography..... i will be putting some posts from my dairy.